At A Crossroads

It's a lot to ask. A lot to expect.

Once children at NPH enter high school, their life-style changes. At the younger home, their days are scheduled and packed. The children go to school, come home and eat lunch, shower and do chores, go to study hall and then required activities. Before you know it it's time for dinner and bed.

At the high school, many experience choice and freedom for the first time when it comes to their schedules. If they want to, they can skip breakfast to sleep in a little longer. On the weekends they can leave the home on their own to go shopping downtown. Their caregivers no longer check their homework.

It's all to form the children into responsible, self-providing young men and women. After high school, each pequeno does two years of service by cooking or taking care of the children as their repayment for the house. Before asking them to be responsible for children, they need to develop from children into responsible young adults themselves.

Not all mature as fast as the others. Many test the boundaries of their new-found freedom in high school. They see what will happen if they don't do their homework or show up for school. They fail to do their chores or listen to directors. In other words, they're your typical rebellious teenagers trying to figure out just how much you love them.

The things is, at NPH, it is possible to push the buttons too far. And where many parents would love and support their child no matter what they did, there are certain times when NPH can't, for the sake of the home's reputation and as an example to the other children, let a child stay in the home.

Last week I said goodbye to one of my favorite kids. Cheque wasn't one whose misbehavior crossed a line, but he had little motivation for school. At the end of the first semester of his freshman year, Cheque was failing many of his classes. Already his second time around as a freshman, and after a semester off from school in reflection, NPH couldn't keep him on the traditional high school track. Instead, he will be completing a vocational course to prepare him for a job in a couple of years. He still expresses interest in coming back to high school, but his interest is backed up with nothing but failing grades, unfinished homework assignments, and naps in class.

It's here when I can't help but ask the dangerous "what if?" What if Cheque had parents who could afford him tutoring? Who could check his homework every night? Who could support him in his struggle? What if I had noticed his failing grades earlier and could have helped him out? What if he wasn't left to his own resources? What if he had endless second chances, as so many of us with loving parents receive time and time again?

Now Cheque will hopefully finish vocational school and find a job. But his chances of going to university are most likely shot. He will probably not earn enough money to go if he wants to down the road. It's hard to swallow. Had Cheque just pushed through, he would have received a college education paid for by NPH setting him up for a career and a life filled with so many more opportunities.

When I said goodbye to Cheque I had to swallow back tears. It was a powerful moment - seeing a boy at a crossroads who chose to go down the More Difficult Path when he could have taken The Easier Path. Too bad second chances and safety nets can only go so far.

It's a lot to ask.